Category: Dating and Relationships
I have heard of advertisements for EHarmony, cupid.com and other such dating sites. I think that EHarmony is very dumb. For instance, who wants to take the time to fill out pages and pages of information just to getg a date? I mean why not just look up someone, give them a call, text, im, etc and see where it goes from there? It's not like looking for a date is close to applying for a job, so why should such sites exist as though they're applications? What do yall think?
I think sites like that are ridiculous too. The dating site I joined was very simple, you just sync your facebook account with the site, and all the information is automatically filled in. If you want more information, just send me a private message. :)
I don't think you really need to fill out any information that the site will see, if people want your personal info, they can ask you for it via email or whatever other means of communication; it shouldn't have to be a big formal thing.
I've been told by some women that they really don't read all that stuff. You take 20 hours, fill it all out, spell check it, and give it good English.
"Hi I'm Susie, where do you live?"
Smile.
I live in Missouri. I just think the whole filling out is pointless and a waste of time.
I agree with you Margaret. Complete waste of time. Personally, I would never want to meet a girl online.
To add to my last post, it's mainly because I believe in meeting someone on the streets or in person but notonline. That's my opinion.
ther's a differnece to meeting them online and filling out a whole thing of questions like an application as if you're applyign for a job.
well, in some way its like an application for a job. the different is that you are filling an application to seek for your hopefully pertential partner, instead of your pertential job. I guess why they do that is to screen out all the crips, those whom may go thru the process perhaps are really desperet and sincere in looking for a partner, compare to those, who just want a ramdom chat or things like that. It is not the safe way of meeting partners but hey, what is safe these days? is about how you come to know the person, and that too. Sometime, online might give you a better opportunity when come to open up oneself, and share the most darkest, deepest secret of life.
I dunno, I wouldn't scoff at on-line dating sites, and the applications are part of the process. There are no guarantees no matter where you go or what you do, and this includes how safe you are trying to date face-to-face as opposed to on-line. I guess people still think dating sites and services are full of desperate losers. I guess all the good normal folks go to church and the bars? Good luck y'all. I met my wife on an e-mail list, and she's no loser, nor is she desperate.
I certainly don't think these things will do all the work finding your life long mate for you as their advertisements claim, but I do get their point. A lot of times, people will rush into a relationship without getting to know a lot of the answers to these important questions. then they find out a deal breaking fact about their partner down the line, and things usually just go downhill from there. These sites try to help you by requiring you to cross this line before you find a partner. What can these sites do for you that you can't do yourself? Well, honestly, nothing more than bringing all your potential partners to your computer screen instead of having to go out and look for them yourself. But considering so many people just jump the gun these days without asking many questions, hats off to these sites for trying to get people to take a little time to let them know what you need before showing you all your options. If you'd rather do the question asking directly, great. Go join one of the sites that let you do the matching part yourself. Nothing wrong with that, but there's also nothing wrong with wanting to try to hold back a little of the desperation that goes on around these places.
I think it's more fun to go out and physically find out information about your partner so that in the process you can also be learning about yourself.
Now, that I agree with you Margaret :)
I agree with you as well. I'm just saying, I don't think there's anything wrong with the approach dating sites like E-Harmony take. if you want to use a dating site, if that's your preferred way to find a mate, why not go all the way? Even if you're the type to ask questions before jumping into a relationship with someone, that doesn't mean the prospective partners are the same way.
That's true, but it's more fun to physically go out and do the work of learning at least for me.
The people I know who use these sites are people who work a lot, don't have all the time college kids have, maybe they have responsibilities like kids / parents. And these sites, in particular eHarmony let them limit the field to compatible options. Less random fishing as time goes by and people have less of it to just fritter away.
I agree, going to clubs and doing the random hookup / see what happens is fun. But EHarmony is for people who want to skip the froth and go for the meat. If you're not in school anymore and already done the wait-and-see-what-happens game, all the games we play and call it courting, well, these sites are actually quite useful. Probably not for really young people: I know myself a hell of a lot better now than I did at 21, if only for the fact that I've had a couple more decades of living with myself / my mistakes and accomplishments to base my own assessment of me and what I want upon.
Easy to say since I am currently not available and out seeking for myself in that way. But I kow others who are, and have done so quite successfully. Best to have shed the schoolgirl / schoolboy ideals which are cute on the young, a bit ugly on those that have a lived a bit longer.
Well, if I take the time to fill the damn thing out I'd love to have it read?
I do the work and I still get, "where do you live?" hahahaha
A few women told me women look at the age, the picture, and hit you if they like either.
I agree with Leo, it is not something for everybody, but yet, it is something there for people that need that type of connection. Yes, for some reasons going out and
I agree with Leo, it is not something for everybody, but yet, it is something there for people that need that type of connection. For some, going out and part and get drunk and, and, might consider as something fun and interesting to do, but for some, might perfer a slow pase to meet people, get to know each other, before going out grobing and that.
Everyone have their own prefference of dating and that i guess, as long as they are content enough on what they doing, then, i don't see any problem with it.
In some way, online dating may give you the shill to protect yourself, before going out and meeting the person i guess.
I completely agree with Leo about getting to know yourself before trying to fill out such an application. There are some of these questions to which I would have given completely opposite answers just two or three years ago than I do now. I can only imagine what ten or twenty years will do.
Totally agree with Ocean and Leo..I don't see anything wrong with the online thing..especailly if you're new to an area..or you don't do the clubs/bars..
exactly. online dating is really no different than meeting someone at a bar or club. the important thing is to just be careful. and really talk and get to know the person before you decide to meet.
Besides, not everybody lives in a place and environment where they can just get up and go meet people. So online is their only option. I met my current GF onlne and, while I'll admit I can't say wat'll happen down the road so far things are great. I wouldn't call her my perfect match (I don't really believe in that), but she's probably as close to that as is realistically possible. But of course only time will tell. And anyway I've found out that people online are more likely to talk to me when they learn I'm blind than many people who see me out at a coffee shop. But I'm extremel picky about who I message on those sites. I absolutely will not message people whose profiles are full of that netspeak nonsense, nor will I message or respond to people whose profiles have nothing in them. I also will not mesage someone who messages me and asks questions that show beyond any doubt that they didn't read my profile. And agan I won't reply to messages that use that netspeak nonsense. It's sad enough that people are typing that bullshit, but I've even heard people use it in actual speech. I have to work hard not to vomit each time I hear somebody say OMG!
So, what do you do if you cant' have the physical aspects of a relationship for quite awhile due to traveling expenses for either you or the partner? How then do you meet your physical needs other than the obvious? I mean how do you deal with their absence? And then, with online, people can fake their identity way easier than in reality. What if you meet the girl in person for the first time after just talking online forever without having met up yet actually turns out to be a guy or gay?
I think online dating is just fine and does work. I have done it, and don't mind the application if it gets read. Lol
I do both meeting out and meeting online, and I do agree it is easier to meet someone receptive to your disability online than at a coffee shop.
Even if she or he will talk to you, you can't catch there eye, or know they are looking at you, so can offer the starting smile and wave. People are basicly shy too, or don't think they should disturb you if you are having your coffee.
Bars are better at this, but again, you have to let the person know you can be approached.
For us blind people you could talk to someone and when you finally get close learn that she is not she at all.
The trick to online dating is metting as soon as possible no matter how far away they are. Also talking on the telephone, or some messenger service so you know she at least sounds like she.
It is no different, other than the meeting part.
I hate to say it, but that can happen in person as well. OK, so they can't fake their location, their appearance, and admitedly, faking age would be difficult, but not impossible. And as for personality, people can hide their true self just as easily in person as they can online. There are predators lurking about everywhere. I'm not saying that to try to scare you; there are plenty of good people around as well, but the internet has really gotten a bad rep for being a playground for freaks, psychos, scammers, desperate losers, stockers, ETC., when these types of people are just as plentiful in the real world.
Well thats probably because real world people have access to the internet?
Ocean Totally agree with you what you said in last post!
Trisha: Love your username..a fan of family guy? lol! :)
Lol to the Unique one.
As for the physical needs that's why when I was looking for dating I had a strict policy against long distance relationships. I've tried it quitea few times and it didn't work for me.
I agree Brian, I felt the same way about ldr's until my recent bf but that changed my views cuz we were seeing each other more often and now we're living together.
Then obviously it worked for you. But I tried quite a lot of them and that's how I was able to determine that it wasn't for me. There were even a few girls here on the Zone that I tried it with.
I prefer dating someone local rather than getting into a long distance relationship also.
I used to never be for those, there'es no point of an ldr if you know there's no chance of ever meeting up with your partner, then it's a waste of time which is why it took me a long time to get into one. I had to be sure things would work in my favor.
Which is a lot harder in a long distance relationship.
agreed
On the dating site I sometimes go on i occasionally get messages from people that are like 5,000 or more miles away... I mean, Why do they even bother? I usually just block them because talking to them would be a waste of time for both of us lol.
I don't approve of those sites, there's a lot more useful places to meet, through wwork, school, friends, and such. You don't have to go that far, and besides meeting people and knowing who they are, what they are like, who they hang out with and their family, and being able to share friends easily is better, can't hide from anyone, can you?
For once I would have to agree with Rachael. I don't trust the sites where you have to fill out information, anyone can get ahold of it and alter it.
Except that people can, in fact, hide their true selves in person, so it can be no different in person than online.
not like that not as easily and not as well. also you can find their friends and stuff too. and hang out with them as well.
well, true people might be able to modify it, but not always the chief concern. it's just more obvious safety and healthy issues that emerge.
Rachael, you're sadly mistaken. people can hide their true colors just as easily offline. whether or not you wanna believe it, there are some people who are great at deceiving others. so, whether meeting folks online or offline, the key is to be careful, and trust your gut instincts at all times.
there's not as many as you see online though.
I'm not gonna argue with you; I'll leave your spastic self to believe as you wish, and hope that as you age, you'll learn.
What information? I mean you don't put your address on the application even though I've never seen one that ask?
Sites mostly only show what you want public, and your real name is never displayed, if you give it, and well.
Problem with people contacting people when you've put on your application that you only want to meet people 100 miles away is they don't read it. Lol
Happy heart, who was your post directed to about not arguing with the person?
it was directed at Rachel, who my post before it was also directed towards.
Oh, I guess I missed that sorry.
Rachel, can you prove your claims here? Do you somehow have access to a list of all the deceivers VS. the genuine people, and whether they interact with the online dating community, or social media in general? Also, consider every friend you've ever had in your life that you've met and interacted with in person. Did every one of these friends turn out as you thought they would? Do you know someone who has ever come to you ranting about how they were betrayed by someone they knew in person? If they were telling you the truth, then someone managed to hide their true motives and successfully deceive someone. If they were lying, then someone managed to hide their true motives from you. Anyway, point is, deceivers exist everywhere, and it's views such as your's that allow the people who do it in person to get away with it so often, because you're so busy worrying about online threats.
you just really have to be careful these days. there are jerks everywhere. whether it be online, or at work or at a bar or club.
i don't have a problem with online dating sites, specifically. I do have a problem with some of their questions, however. I tried to sign up for Eharmony and match.com at the beginning of this year. i couldn't sign up all by myself because I'm totally blind. Some of the questions involved me matching imges, or picking which image looked best to me for whatever reason. i thought, and still think, this is stupid. If you're going to have images and want to appeal to all types of people, at least have descriptions with them so that us blind people can make up our minds too. But they had oh-so helpful labels, such as "Image 01," etc. lol. So, I gave up and didn't even finish the process.
Take Care,
Dawnielle
Not even just be careful these days. It's been true forever among humans: deception and the detection of deception is probably as old as language itself.
If people couldn't deceive people in real life, we'd have no huxters, no date rapes, and a lot of other things as well.
Just as added info, the most recent stats from several government organizations shows that the mass majority of identity theft comes from people you think you know (that deceit again), and a majority of it is done on paper.
What online does, is allows someone to take that paper information and use it online. It's far easier for someone to look over the papers in your office laying around than it is for them to hack into your account. In fact, most so-called hacking comes from someone who knows you, and using social engineering techniques gets enough info to guess your password.
So, yes, deceit is all over, and it's never been just "these days." The only differencenow is that people talk about it more, publicize safety measures more, and deception-based crimes are actually on the decline since the 70s and 80s.
It's not that there was a so-called more trusting time: it's that people didn't connect the cause and effect, and so used to have their kids kidnapped, paperwork stolen, etc. The difference now, of course, is that once they have the information, they can do a lot more with it online.
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
And one thing that stays the same is that I hate that victim poor-mouth mentality that says, "Oh, things are so terrible now! You have to be so careful these days!" when what is really happening is we are made more aware of the causal relationships between exposure and fraud.
In the 19th century, when they discovered germ theory, and began taking steps to improve sanitation, it's not that everything suddenly became dirtier. People just now understood the cause / effect relationship between germs and disease. And, with public information going out, people were now cognizant of the problems, and potential remedies.
Personal privacy and data protection are now in the public eye. Twenty years ago, you could have faxed compromising pictures of a Christmas office party fiasco, or printed off pictures of a college drunken fest, and posted those in a flyer. Nobody talked about any of the privacy concerns, not like we do now. Now we're aware of a lot more cause and effect situations.
In fact, we could not background check a potential roommate, but now, the kids Google their potential roomies ahead of time. I'm sure with new information, dating to one extent or another may have changed some, with increasing awareness. But that doesn't mean it's actually worse "these days," any more than the germ theory in the 19th century created disease.
That's why I liked OKCupid. They use Captchas but they're adio, and unlike a lot of them the ones they use are actually understandable. And while there is a paid option it's completely free if you just want to contact people and get to know them.
Well said Leo!
I think that is like saying "Hi, my name is jack and I am applying to be loved." really? No, thank you
I agree.
I don't see a problem with these sites themselves. I haven't gotten to check out any of them either so I don't know what questions they ask, and how the questions are different from the ones you would ask yourself when interested in a person. I'm not against dating someone online or dating someone in a different part of the country, however I don't see myself signing up for a dating site itself.
Why does EHarmony's questionnaire not seem to be compatible with VoiceOver? Thought I'd just see what kind of "matches" are out there for me but I can't even fill out their pages of questions because VoiceOver won't tell me the names of the text fields or radio buttons. It acts normal with other web sites though.
It's not just VoiceOver in my experience. Besides it's not free to contact anyone and their prices aren't worth it in my opinion.
Ever seen those commercials for dating services you call like Quest? Has anyone ever had any luck with this?
Once. Met and dated a girl for a while.
You record what you want people to hear, and you listen to them. I was piggybacking on a friends, so just send her my phone number, and she called me directly. Kind of fun. Lol
Maybe I'll give it a try.
Can't hurt, might help too.